The Honeymoon, it's over. (unfinished)

With the flick of a switch, the blink of an eye.. the popping of a pill, Cinderella's carriage and enchanted surroundings disappeared.

I didn't think it would happen so soon, or quite they way that it did, but I believe that Thursday night signified the beginning of the end.

A big part of me wishes that I had gone with the flow. Perhaps dabbled a bit myself. Perhaps just let it be and accepted the environment I was in and the people I was with. To a large extent, I did. But a part of me felt disingenuous to who I am by doing so. I was trying to fit in and be someone I'm not and that was what rubbed me the wrong way more than anything.

I'm not a judgmental person. To each their own, because what you eat don't make me shit. But when our worlds collide and I have to conform in ways that I don't believe to be true to my character and beliefs, I have a problem with that.

The drugs didn't bother me. A part of me wanted to try as well, but I was scared of how I would react. I didn't want to appear vulnerable or inferior in front of all of these people that I didn't know. I didn't know how my mind would react. The fact that they were partaking didn't bother me. What bothered me were the snake eyes. The way some of these people were behaving made me skeptical of their intentions and the type of people they were. Mind you, not all of them were evil. There were a few that were actually enjoyable and somewhat genuine. But others I could not trust. Others I didn't want to be around, because I would never be like them.